A murder occurred on our mountain today that gripped me with a depth that I did not understand. I decided to walk to the top of the mountain, but two hens were not in the coop. I knew that they would follow me if I did not get them inside, so I called Skip to help round them up. One hen went in easily, but the other hen got spooked and started running. Suddenly, without warning, our three Yorkies ganged up on her and in less than one minute, she was dead. Cold-blooded murder. She was not doing anything…minding her own business, trying to return to the safety of her coop. Oh, I cried in my heart, she was just old enough to start laying eggs. And these three thugs ganged up on her and murdered her, not in self-defense – not with a gun…just their teeth and their nature.
My heart raced with anger toward my dogs. How could they? They have walked among the girls for weeks and ignoring them…co-habitating. My first reaction is anger, the second is grief. I hate death…especially of innocence. I don’t handle it very well, except when it’s a fly or a rat, a spider or a cockroach or a snake or some low-life like that. After appropriately disciplining our dogs, putting them inside and burying the hen, my heart was heavy and still grieved.
What’s going on inside of me, Father? I can barely stand this. I wish that I was home with You. I wish that You would just hold me and tell me it’s okay. Flashes of the dead hen and the squirrels and birds that I killed with my vehicle over the years quickly came to mind. Innocent animals, dying. They don’t do anything to deserve to die. I bustled to the top of the mountain feeling anger and sadness. So I turned my thoughts toward God and began talking to Him.
Father, what is going on inside of me? Why is death so hard to handle? Why am I so angry about a dead chicken? My Yorkies were only doing what comes naturally to them – they are bred to be predators and kill the mice and rats and such vermin. What do You want me to know about this situation? I stood quietly as the cool breeze blew through my light jacket and stared at the cloudy sunset. Listening. A dark cloud was the predominate feature of this sunset. My steady gaze revealed the beautiful rays of the sun hidden behind the clouds; beautifully breathtaking. Like a fan spread out behind the dark cloud, all the rays were quietly and majestically peeking through and revealing their glory.
Father, how You must grieve over the gazillion innocent deaths that have taken place since the cloud of sin encompassed the earth. How do You stand it? I’m not sure that I’m ready to go forward in Your call, I cannot stand to see even an innocent animal die. Maybe I should be a vegetarian. Some animal somewhere has to die so that I could enjoy a steak.
I could not eat the hen – she was freshly killed-most likely would be a great organic chicken. Why did I not just have her prepared for the pot? Why this big pain inside over a chicken? The problem is that she is a she and I had an emotional attachment to her. I lived with her. We nurtured her, fed her, built a home for her, gave her a life of luxury in exchange for some eggs each week. We did not give her a name, that’s too personal. But still, she belonged to us and we cared for her. She died without a cause at the hand of murderous thieves who took her life.
I began to think about how God must have felt when He had to kill the first animal because of Adam and Eve’s sin. Was He crying? He had an emotional attachment to Adam and Eve. He created them. He gave them everything He had, including the ability to live forever. Lives of luxury in exchange for one simple request. Don’t eat from that Tree. Did His holy heart grieve when they disobeyed, knowing that murder would run rampant for 6,000 more years?
How could You let this happen? Isn’t that the cry of many people today who turn their backs on a God that allows such horror to take place every day? My grief began to melt as I heard God speak to me in the depths of my heart.
“I did not cause the death. The only death that I ever commanded was My own Son’s and that was so that you could live. Death came into this world because of the enemy who deceived Eve and brought disobedience upon the entire human race. I could not stop My creation from making a choice and that choice led to sin, which gave the enemy a legal right to bring death into the world. Sure, I could stop all death, but not until the appointed time. Really, Georgia, for humans, there is only separation from Me…that’s real death. You were created to live eternally and you choose whether to live it with Me or without Me. Do you know how you feel right now? Remember that when you hear of humans who want to kill others because they are not of the same race or have less functionality or seemingly contribute nothing to society or worse, never get a chance to take one gulp of air. Is it any different from you considering a spider, rat, snake or fly are vermin – low-life?”
I began to think about all the millions of innocent humans who have died on this planet, who are dying today and who will continue to die until time is no more. “Why so long?”, I asked God. “Please hurry…come rescue us.”
“I rescued you. When you received My Son, you were transferred from the kingdom of death and darkness into the Kingdom of life and Light. You’re just not home yet. Be My ambassador. Bring others into My Kingdom…into the Light”.
I began to think about my little scenario and wondered how it would have been if God would have ranted and raved when Adam and Eve messed up and simply killed them. He could have, you know. Or when the entire world had gotten so evil that God destroyed it with a flood after 400 years of warning – except for 8 souls. Oh, what makes us so guilty? So depraved? Sin. Period. Because of God’s love, I’m redeemed from sin and no longer under a sentence of condemnation. Nature is still held in bondage to the sin of humans. Predators still kill other animals. It’s not what they were created to do, but it is the result of human sin and the curse on the earth. My Yorkies are under that bondage. It’s not the way that God intended them to be, but it is the way that they are in this lifetime.
So, we’ll guard the lives of the hens more closely and keep the two created critters separated. Only in the millennial kingdom will the lamb and the lion lay down together and one will not devour the other. Guess that I’ll go find my dogs who are cowering under the bed, quite confused at my wrath. My heart gained new understanding tonight. I still wish that I could come home now. Sigh.